That about sums up the past few months. My father died in May after years of ratcheting-downwards health. Since February he'd been bouncing back and forth between hospital, nursing care and his assisted-care apartment, while we followed in his wake trying to catch the debris and sort it into something understandable. Everyone from doctors and nurses kept hedging on his prospects. "He could go on like this for years" they kept saying. And then he didn't.
I'm grateful his frustration and discomfort and unhappiness are at an end. I'm also grateful to be free of the stress, strain and exhaustion that was a big part of having him in my life. Dad was a kind, intelligent, curious, knowledge-loving, engaging man who did his best when he could -- but he was also an alcoholic depressive who ignored elephants in the room when it suited him. Which was far too often.
Prior to his passing we'd been shoveling through his papers and discovered his years of non-tax filing, which, while I can't blame him for on one level, on a practical level was a huge headache that became a full-scale migraine after his demise. The past month has been a blur of paperwork, travel and frustration, but bit by aggravating bit things are getting sorted out, and all the obligations he left behind will be met, elephants and all.
I have several friends who have gone through similar events this year. We've reached the age where those parents still alive are now passing away. One dear friend lost her father a month before mine, and is now dealing with severe health issues of her own. So, not a stellar year so far.
Travel to care for Dad coincided with an uptick in work, so since February I've had little energy or inclination to do much artwork. This why I'm a wanna-be artist -- real artists work through anything!
These pictures are of my Dad in happier times. After a while, I'll be more likely to remember him like this, and that will be a good thing.
Dad and his older brother (right) in 1997.
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