Staff of the Insane Magician [DCC]

Here's a draft of an artifact item I'm working on. Enjoy!


Staff of the Insane Magician
This iron-shod black oaken staff is adorned with multi-colored ribbons and the tiny skulls of unidentifiable creatures. It deals 2d6 DARO* damage in melee combat, and can fire magical bolts of energy which automatically hit and deal 1d6+2 damage at-will. However, its true power lies in its ability to amplify the casting power of the user, and channel that power into the casting of a random magical spell. The caster first makes a spell check as normal, then rolls a die on the effect chart based on the result of the spell check (see below).
*DARO: "Doubles add and roll over" (see Tunnels & Trolls)

Spell Check Result   Die to Roll on the Effect Chart
        1            None. User suffers two greater corruptions
                     and staff loses all power except for its 
                     melee combat ability.
       2-9                   d8
      10-13                  d10
      14-17                  d12
      18-21                  d14
      22-25                  d16
      26-29                  d20
       30+                   d24

Effect Chart
(all effects last 6 turns/1 hour unless otherwise specified)

1. All surface areas (floors, walls, ceilings, etc.) within 100’ of the caster become covered in a 1”-thick sheet of ice. Anyone attempting to move at greater than ¼ speed - or doing anything else that could result in a loss of balance – must roll under half their agility score or fall prone.
2. All creatures hostile to the caster within 100’ become illuminated in faerie fire. Attacks against such creatures are made at +2 and they have no hope of hiding, etc.
3. The entire room the caster is in becomes filled with a thick, opaque smoke. Although perfectly breathable, everyone in the room is effectively blinded. If outdoors, the smoke covers a 100’ radius area around the caster, and clears in 2-8 rounds.
4. 1d30 kobolds are summoned from the ether (2 hp, AC 12, Spear +0(1d4), +0 all saves). Roll 1d10. If the roll is equal or under the caster’s level, then the kobolds are bound to his every command. If the roll is failed, half the kobolds attack the caster while the other half attack his friends. The kobolds remain until destroyed.
5. A random character or monster within 50’ of the caster (but not the caster himself) is permanently polymorphed into a cute fuzzy bunny rabbit. Roll 1d10+18 to determine the power of the spell for dispelling purposes.
6. The staff becomes charged with 10d6 damage worth of fireballs. They may be fired by the wizard as a single 10d6 blast, two 5d6 fireballs, ten 1d6 mini-fireballs, or whatever. For each fireball launched, the caster makes a spell check. Targets that make a reflex save with DC equal to the spell check only take half damage.
7. The caster (50%) or a random ally (50%) permanently becomes a skeleton, loses any existing racial abilities, but gains the following:
a. Convert hit dice to d12
b. +2 natural armor
c. +2 Agility
d. 1d4 claw attack
e. Immune to Cold
f. DR3/bludgeon
g. No need to eat or sleep.
h. Can be turned by clerics
i. Any healing done to the skeleton is reduced by half.

8. The caster and his party are teleported to a random room in any dungeon that exists in the judge’s world. (Judge’s choice)
9. Transmutation! All gold within 100’ of the caster is transformed. Roll 1d6: 1= lead; 2= copper; 3-4= silver; 5= electrum; 6= platinum. No experience is gained or lost due to this effect.
10. Uber-Mensch! Caster grows to 150% size, and all abilities increase to 18 for 1d6+6 turns.
11. Under-Mensch! Caster shrinks to 50% size, and all abilities decrease to 3 for 1d6+6 turns.
12. Caster can fly for 6 turns.
13. A djinni appears and offers to grant a single wish, but the wish must be made in 60 seconds real-time, or the djinni disappears. He is also a bastard and will screw over the caster in any way possible.
14. 2d6 smiley-face cookies appear. Eating one grants a permanent +1 luck increase. They are very tasty as well.
15. A powerful 2" thick stream of silly string spews forth from the staff for 1d6+6 rounds. The caster must spend his actions to brace the staff. If the staff is released, it will be propelled in a random direction at a speed of 60’ per round.
16. All within 50’ of the caster must make a Will save or become confused for 1d20 rounds. Caster makes a spell check to determine save DC. Each round a PC/creature is confused, roll a d4: 1= act normally; 2= babble incoherently; 3= attack nearest living thing; 4= attack self.
17. The staff emits strong gamma rays for a few moments. All within 50’ must make a DC 20 Fort save or suffer a random permanent mutation. Use whatever mutation chart you have handy – Mutant Future, Carcosa, Encounter Critical, or whatever.
18. A yes-man appears, showering the caster with compliments and praise. This causes the caster’s confidence to increase and he gets +1D to all rolls while the yes-man is present. The yes-man disappears after 6 turns.
19. A random magic item belonging to the caster (80%) or a random party member (20%) is transformed into a gigantic python that is very hungry at the present moment. Giant Python; Init +3; Spd 20’; AC 15; HD 11d8+14; hp 63; Bite +11(2d8) [swallows on 18-20]; F+8, R+10, W+4
20. A cloned duplicate of the caster is formed, that exactly copies all of the caster’s actions and takes 50% of the hits. Lasts 1-3 turns (10-30 minutes).
21. A familiar comes into the service of the caster. (Permanent)
22. No effect is apparent to the caster. However, the contents of the next dungeon room entered are replaced with 1d20 rats guarding 2,000 cp.
23. Congratulations, you’ve earned a corruption! Roll d6: 1-3= Minor; 4-5= Major; 6= Greater.
24. Caster now has a pet luck dragon that may or may not be named Falcor. Pals 4 Lyfe!

I think I'll need to go back and re-jigger the order so that most of the bad ones are earlier on the list. I was just typing them as I went along without much regard for that.